Soft Flutr
Inclusive, honest, pleasure-centered, explicit sex ed free for everyone.This website contains age-restricted materials including nudity and explicit depictions of sexual activity. By entering, you affirm that you are at least 18 years of age or the age of majority in the jurisdiction you are accessing the website from and you consent to viewing sexually explicit content.
Soft Flutr
Inclusive, honest, pleasure-centered, explicit sex ed free for everyone.✨ sign up for to know when the full course launches ✨
Welcome!
No matter who you are, where you’re coming from, you’re welcome here.Sex Ed in America (and most of the world) is a bad joke. Only 17 states in America require medically accurate sex ed.Most people end up learning from porn, movies, and friends—but let’s be real, those are, ahem, not reliable sources. We believe sex ed should be inclusive, accurate and free. So we’re making it. And in the meantime, we put this together to help people out asap. And also to see if people actually even want comprehensive explicit sex ed. Do you?Sex is one of the most beautiful parts of life. But for so many it’s full of stress, insecurity and dissatisfaction. We’re here to help change that. Imagine how much more beautiful the world would be if everyone was having lots of satisfying orgasms.We recommend following the course start to finish. But feel free to bounce around if you prefer. We've aimed to cover everything while still being apporoachable and engaging for people at all points in their sexual journey.
NSFW Content Heads Up (18+ Advised)
A heads-up about this resource: It contains a wide range of explicit content. Why explicit? Because sometimes, seeing real-life demonstrations can be more helpful than just reading descriptions. That said, please never feel any pressure to engage with material you’re not comfortable with.Many of the videos included are genuinely educational, though some may feel more erotic or pornographic in tone. We hold no blanket stance for or against porn—instead, we recognize its complexity. We do, however, wish there were more options that offer explicit sex education in a way that feels grounded, diverse, and less stylized for arousal.Right now, until we build out soft flutr, there just aren’t many accessible, free platforms that blend explicit content with a purely educational lens. For now, much of what’s available lives on mainstream sites like Pornhub.If you're currently avoiding any exposure to pornographic material, this resource may not be the best fit.
How to use this Resource
Watching videos but never practicing can only get you so far. The best thing would be to work through this resource list and practice along the way either by yourself or with a partner. Of course, everything in this course is just an option! You don’t need to do any of these acts to have a fulfilling sex life. You don’t need to want to have sex at all to have a fulfilling life! Never feel pressured into anything. But notice where you feel curious and excited and follow that. For example, we've included a lesson about anal. But that does NOT mean you need to want to learn about or try anal! Follow your own authentic impulse wherever it takes you (consensually of course!).
A note on Inclusion
Overall, the resources listed don’t generally uphold the level and version of inclusivity and representation we’re working to foster at Soft Flutr. But it’s the best on offer (for free) on the internet at the moment (that we know of). It is a simple truth that not all men have penises and not all women have vulvas. Trans, non-binary, and BIPOC people while not very represented here, are beautiful and deserving of quality representative sex ed!
Acknowledgements
We want to extend our deepest gratitude to the incredible educators, filmmakers, animators, and creators whose videos appear on this site. Your work is thoughtful, brave, generous, and deeply impactful. This platform would not exist without your creativity, dedication, and the knowledge you’ve chosen to share with the world. Go check them and out and support their work!
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Building Self-Esteem
Well, the truth is, all the best sex hacks in the world won't get you that far if you don't dive into the world of vulnerability and unlearning all the toxic BS society taught us about sex and our bodies. Don't worry... there are sex hacks on this site! But really truly, they can only get you so far.For so long society has taught people to be ashamed of their sexuality, ashamed of their bodies, and taught them a load of BS false (or non-existent) sex ed to back it all up.So for almost everyone, some amount of unlearning is needed. Maybe it doesn't seem sexy, but well... it will pay dividends in your sex life.
Vulnerability
Sex is vulnerable. So is learning about it. That’s why we’re kicking things off with Brené Brown’s TED Talk on vulnerability.When we meet our own tenderness with compassion, we soften shame—and open the door to deeper intimacy, pleasure, and real learning.
How did we get here?
Well no, not this site? But like modern sex ed. Why is it so absurdly bad? Look! You might feel some shame or embarassment for how little you know. But it's not your fault! If you're like most people...you were never taught! Understanding the landscape of society can help up understand ourselves.
Sex Ed Myths
Sex ed has failed us—big time. Add in cultural shame, outdated taboos, and the fact that most people learn from porn, and, well... it’s no wonder we’re all confused.So, we made a quiz that busts 29 of the biggest sex myths. Most people don’t pass. Think you will?
Porn is not Reality
We’re not against porn! But don’t forget what you’re watching is entertainment not education. 💅Here are just some of the ways porn is NOT REALITY!→ Sex is always spontaneous with no need for foreplay or communication→ Orgasms are instant and simultaneous, even with no clitoral stimulation→ Everyone has ‘perfect’ bodies with no body hair, blemishes, or stretch marks (angles, lighting, aftereffects)↬
→ Sex positions are always acrobatic
Cum shots are mega doses of fake cum injected into the penis→ It’s often someone’s job to wipe away any vaginal discharge, so you don’t see it→ Penises are always enormous and hard for hours (often inject viagra into the tip)→ Vaginas are always wet (lube applied off camera)→ Anal sex appears to require no prep→ Women orgasm from penetration alone
→ Squirting is a rigged explosive fire hose across the room→ Consent is never spoken, boundaries are rarely discussed, condoms and birth control are almost never seen, STIs don’t exist→ Everyone is insatiable and ready for sex at all times→ Rough or degrading sex is depicted as universally desirable. Everyone wants to be choked without asking→ There’s no aftercare or emotional connection shown→ Queer sex is often fetishized or erased, and gender roles are rigidly performed rather than fluid and diverse
So! If you want to watch porn, go for it! But know that it's just acting. Better yet, consider finding ethical porn to watch and pay for!
Deeper Intimacy = Better Sex
Now hold up! We are NOT saying you should only have sex in a commited realtionship, or wait until marriage, or even saying that sex is always better when you're in love.But we are saying that lots of struggles people think are sexual are actually about intimacy with ourselves and others.
Consent 101
Consent isn’t a mood-killer—it’s sexy af. It means both people are genuinely into it, tuned in, and free to speak up or slow down. When everyone feels safe and respected, bodies relax, curiosity opens up, and pleasure gets a whole lot better.
Consent Is Tea
Consent 101
Well, it's actually a bit more complex
Tea is a great start, but it's not the whole story.
Resources if you've been assaulted
Tea is a great start, but it's not the whole story.
Gender and Sexuality
Gender and sexuality are rich, multifaceted aspects of human identity. Gender refers to the internal sense of self—how we understand and express ourselves as men, women, both, neither, or somewhere in between. It’s not strictly tied to the body we’re born into. Sexuality, on the other hand, is about who we’re attracted to emotionally, romantically, and physically. Both gender and sexuality exist on spectrums, shaped by personal experience, culture, biology, and choice. Exploring them can be a powerful journey toward authenticity, connection, and deeper self-understanding.
Sex v Gender v Sexual Orientation
Understanding the expanse of possibilities only takes a few minutes :)
Nature is Queer
It's just a human thing to be phobic of the diversity of human experience. Love who you love.
LGBTQ+ Resources
It's just a human thing to be phobic of the diversity of human experience. Love who you love.
Pleasure Anatomy
No more hoohas, private parts, junk. Let's call things their real name.And for the record!: you're normal! Vulva's, penises and intersex genitals come in all different styles and none is better than the rest. Really.
Vulva's and Vaginas Part 1
The vulva is everything on the outside, the vagina is everyhting on the inside. Knowing your anatomy is an awesome step towards more pleasure.
Vulva's and Vaginas Part 2
Often times people get frustrated: my partner doesn't make me cum. Knowing your own body really intimately -- what you like and don't like -- allows you to teach your partner how to give you epic pleasur.
Penis Anatomy
There's more than meets the eye.
Intersex
Did you know?: The number of people born with intersex traits is roughly equal to the number of redheads globally.
Does Size Matter?
As the saying goes: It's not the size of the waves but the motion of the ocean. But society has taught men that size is the only thing that matters. It takes work to rid yourself of that belief.
Is my vulva normal?
So often the question under the question in Sex Ed is: Am I Normal? And the answer is yes! The diversity of human bodies is so much greater than what is shown in porn and the movies.
Health & Hygiene
Sometimes it's these basic things (that no one ever teaches) that make the biggest difference.
Penis Hygiene
And, it's not talked about here, but please also clean your butt! It doesn't say anything about your sexual orientation to clean between the cheeks. Really... the number of men who never clean their anuses for fear of gayness is absurd 🤣
Vulva and Vagina Hygiene
Literally this video can save you years of discomfort.
Period Hygiene Tips
We'll say it again for the people in the back: periods are NOT dirty!
How the Menstrual Cycle Works
Understanding your menstrual cycle can make a huge difference in how you live your life. Understanding your partner's menstrual cycle can make a huge difference in how you support them and how supported they feel by you.
Bacterial Vaginosis 101
It’s not you, it’s your bacteria—Bacterial Vaginosis is common, treatable, and nothing to be ashamed of
Yeast Infections 101
Itchy, irritated, and not in the mood? It might be a yeast infection—common, treatable, and nothing to be ashamed of
Self Pleasure
Exploring our own bodies is one of the beautiful privileges of life!
Vulva Self Pleasure
Whatever you got going is great, but why not check out some fresh ideas?
How to Find the Magical Vagina Spots!
Do you know how to find your own G-Spot, A-Spot and Cervix? Knowing yourself will be so helpful to guiding your partner to giving more pleasure!
Penis Self Pleasure
So many men just beat it out in 5 minutes not knowing the joys of long slow self pleasure sessions. See what's possible when you slow down and shift away from orgasm as the goal. If you're always masturbating to porn, try without... see what sensuality comes from your own imagination.
Healthy Relationships
So many problems people think are sexual problems are actually relationship problems. Heal your relationship, deepen the intimacy, and many times the sexual "problems" magically disappear.
Unhealthy vs Healthy Relationships
Love can be messy, but healthy relationships don’t leave you feeling small—know the difference.
What I wish I knew about relationships
Love isn’t enough on its own—respect, communication, shared values, and feeling safe in your own skin matter just as much. You can love someone deeply and still need to walk away. And the right relationship won’t make you question your worth—it’ll help you remember it.
Recognizing Emotional Abuse
It’s not always yelling or insults—sometimes it’s constant criticism, guilt trips, gaslighting, silent treatment, or making you feel like everything is your fault. If you’re always walking on eggshells or losing your sense of self, it’s time to take a closer look.
Sexual Health
There's no such thing as risk free sex. But there's also no such thing as a risk free life. Sex can be hella fun. Get informed and make the right choices for you!
STIs and STDs: What to know
STIs vs. STDs:
STI stands for sexually transmitted infection, while STD means sexually transmitted disease.
The term STI is more accurate—because many infections (like chlamydia or HPV) don’t cause symptoms or develop into a "disease," but can still be transmitted. So, all STDs are STIs, but not all STIs become STDsSTIs are common, treatable (though not all are curable), and nothing to be ashamed of.
Regular testing, open conversations, and safer sex are part of caring—for yourself and your partners. Most STIs show no symptoms, so the only way to know is to get tested
Birth Control Options
Birth control isn’t one-size-fits-all—there are options for every body and lifestyle.
From pills, patches, and IUDs to condoms, implants, and fertility tracking, each method has its pros and cons. The best choice is the one that fits you
How to Use a (external) Condom
Maybe the best invention ever?
How to Use a (internal) Condom
Why don't more people use these?
How to use a dental dam
Ok, these are awesome. A lot of people are too embarassed to use them... but NEWS FLASH TO THE UNIVERSE: STIS can be transmitted from oral sex... not just penetrative sex.We don't advocate also using the dental dam as a make-shift condom as shown in this video. Probably not a good idea.If you want a flashy and super sexy dental dam (but that's kind of expensive) check out Lorals.
How to Access An Abortion
Abortion is safe, common, and a personal decision.
Nearly 1 in 4 American women will have an abortion by age 45. People have abortions for many reasons—and they all deserve care, respect, and access without shame or judgment.
Consent 201
So it turns out, consent is actually a really nuanced topic! Consent isn’t just a yes or no — it’s an ongoing, embodied conversation. Consent 201 goes beyond the basics to explore power, nuance, intuition, and desire. Learn how to tune in, speak up, and co-create experiences that feel amazing for everyone involved.The last video in this section is pretty in depth and is definitely optional viewing if you're just starting out.
Consent doesn't have to be awkward. We'll prove it.
To prove it, we compiled the best ways to ask for consent from Reddit."I really want to kiss you""Sooo… can I kiss you?"'Want to go make out in your car?'"Where do you want me to touch you?"“I really want to go down on you, would you like that?”
Send an image fully covered in a towel and ask, "wanna see more?"
Then if they say yes, take a pic of the entire towel laid out on the bed. That will get the ball rolling. Or it's just funny as hell.When starting to shift to a new activity: "Is this ok?""are you enjoying yourself?"Dear Sir/Madam, I am cordially inviting you to engage in coitus sometime this afternoon between 6:00 and 6:30pm. Your written consent would be most welcome and I am eagerly awaiting your reply post-haste.Care to frolick naked amongst the bluebells in a forest of silver birch?
rBDSM
If you really want to take consent to the next level, consider having rBDSM convos with all your partners. Having the structure can really bring you to an awesome depth of intimacy and possibility!
The Wheel of Consent
This is getting pretty advanced! But is totally worth taking the time to understand.If you want to take the deep dive, check out the whole course Betty has so kindly made free for the public at BettyMartin.org
Foreplay
Foreplay isn’t just a warm-up—it’s part of the main event.
Kissing, touching, talking, teasing, and exploring each other’s bodies builds connection, arousal, and better sex. Take your time—pleasure starts long before penetration.People with vulvas need 20-45 minutes of foreplay to reach full arousal. Honestly, if you're struggling with your sex life, try this first: slow down and add a fuck ton of foreplay.
Kissing
Kissing is more than just lips—it’s chemistry, connection, and communication.
It builds anticipation, deepens intimacy, and can be one of the most powerful forms of foreplay. Slow it down, tune in, and let it speak without words.
Erotic Massage
Erotic massage is about slowing down, tuning in, and awakening the body to pleasure.
It blends touch, intention, and presence—creating trust, arousal, and connection through every stroke. It’s not just about the destination—it’s about the journey.
Breast and Pussy Massage
Breast and pussy massage are powerful ways to reconnect with the body, build trust, and awaken deep pleasure.Done with consent, slowness, and full presence, these practices can melt tension, expand sensation, and help release shame—turning touch into healing and play
Picking the Right Lube
The OG GOAT sex toy.
Sexting Dos and Donts
Sexting is digital foreplay—flirty, fun, and a way to build intimacy at a distance.It’s about consent, creativity, and comfort. Whether it’s a spicy photo or a steamy story, the hottest sexts come from feeling safe, seen, and turned on.
How to Have Phone Sex
Phone sex is all about voice, imagination, and connection.It’s a way to explore fantasies, build arousal, and stay intimate—no matter the distance. Consent, clear communication, and tuning into each other’s desires are the keys to making it hot (and respectful).
10 Tips for your first time :)
🧠 1. Redefine “Virginity” for Yourself
Virginity is a social concept, not a medical one. You get to define what your “first time” means — penetrative sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc. There’s no one right way.❤️ 2. Choose the Right Person
Pick someone who makes you feel safe, respected, and excited. You don’t need to be in love, but trust and comfort matter way more than fireworks.💬 3. Talk About It Beforehand
Discuss boundaries, consent, protection, and expectations before anything happens. It might feel awkward — but clear communication is sexy and builds trust.🛑 4. Consent = Everything
Make sure it's a clear, enthusiastic yes from both of you. You can pause or stop at any point. Nothing is more important than feeling in control and safe.🧴 5. Use Lube
Seriously. Lube makes everything smoother, safer, and more pleasurable — especially if there's any penetration involved. Your body will thank you.🧠 6. Relax Your Expectations
It might be awkward, funny, tender, or not all that great — and that’s okay. You’re learning something new together. No one has perfect sex their first time (or 100th).🧠 7. Know Your Body First
Exploring your own body through masturbation helps you figure out what feels good. It can make partnered sex feel way less confusing or pressured.🛡️ 8. Use Protection
Whether it’s condoms, dental dams, or birth control — use protection to reduce the risk of STIs and pregnancy. It’s part of taking care of yourself and your partner.🧘 9. Stay Present
Focus on sensation, connection, and your breath. It's not a performance. Slow down and enjoy whatever you’re feeling — mentally and physically.🌱 10. There’s No Rush
There is zero deadline for your first time. You're not "behind." Doing it when you are ready is what makes it meaningful — not doing it to check a box.🕯️ 11. Set the Mood — Inside and Out
Make sure you're entering the experience feeling emotionally safe, curious, and genuinely ready — not pressured or checked out. Then create a physical space that feels cozy, private, and inviting: soft lighting, clean sheets, maybe music you love, and (ideally) no risk someone is going to interrupt. Even small touches (like turning off your phone or having water nearby) can help you feel more grounded.When your body and mind feel safe, pleasure can flow.Have fun exploring.
With Hands
Hands: almost zero STI risk, infinite pleasure potential.
They’re your most underrated sex toy—ready for teasing, exploring, and turning someone on without even getting undressed.
Fingering Someone with a Vulva
Fingering isn’t just poking around—it's about curiosity, patience, and finding the rhythms that make someone melt. Great fingering starts with clean hands, trimmed nails, and the radical idea that slow is sexy.
Penis Hand Job
Hand jobs? Underrated. With the right pressure and pace, hands alone can blow someone’s mind.
Squirting
Squirting? It’s not the goal—it’s just something some bodies do when they feel safe, turned on, and totally let go.
Prostate Massage
Prostate massage: not just for health—it can feel really good. Go slow, use lube, and when it’s right? Game-changer.
With Mouths
Oral sex: it’s not just mouth stuff—it’s skill, confidence, and knowing when to slow down or show off. Around 70–80% of people with vulvas say it gets them there.
Blow Jobs
Blowjobs: not just about going down—it’s about eye contact, rhythm, and using your hands like a pro. Bonus: enthusiasm > perfection.
How to Eat Pussy
Blowjobs: not just about going down—it’s about eye contact, rhythm, and using your hands like a pro. Bonus: enthusiasm > perfection.
How to Eat Ass
Rim jobs: yep, butt stuff can be sexy. Clean up, check in, and if everyone's down—it’s a whole new level of pleasure.
V Penetration
P-in-V isn’t the whole story—it’s just one way to have sex. Mix it up, slow it down, and remember: pleasure isn’t about performance.
Missionary
Missionary’s not boring—you’re just not using your hips. Eye contact, angles, and a little pillow under the hips? Chef’s kiss.
Cowgirl
Cowgirl: control the pace, find your groove, and ride your way to the good stuff. Great for clit contact and eye contact. Yeehaw 🤠💦.
Doggy Style
Doggy style: deep angles, hands-on hips, and major power vibes. Add a pillow, a toy, or a mirror—thank us later 🐶🔥
How to O from penetration
Orgasm from penetration? Totally possible—but for most people with vulvas, it takes more than just in-and-out. Around 70–80% need clit stimulation to get there. No shame, just anatomy.
How to use what you got
Penis size? Most are pretty average—and pleasure isn’t about inches, it’s about connection, communication, and knowing what to do with what you’ve got.
V on V sex
Lesbian sex isn’t just scissors and vibes—it’s fingers, mouths, toys, teasing, trust, and taking your time. No script, just what feels good.
Period Sex
Period sex? Totally normal, sometimes extra juicy, and 100% up to you. Towels help, orgasms can ease cramps, and blood doesn’t cancel pleasure.
After Sex Pussy Care
Aftercare: cuddles, water, check-ins, snacks—whatever helps you land soft. Good sex doesn’t end at the orgasm.
Anal & Pegging
Ahh the joys of the mythical back 🚪
Anal Part 1
Anal: go slow, use lube, breathe, and talk. It’s all nerves back there—which means with the right care, it can feel amazing.
Anal Part 2
Ready for Anal Level 2? Think deeper, longer, maybe toys or positions that hit just right. Still: lube is life, communication is everything, and your pace is the only one that matters.
Pegging
Pegging: strap it on, switch it up, and explore new power dynamics.
Additional Reading
Education is power.
Come As You Are
by Emily Nagoski
The science of sexual desire and arousal, with compassion and clarity. A modern must-read for anyone with a vulva—or anyone who loves someone with one.
Women's Anatomy of Arousal
by Sheri Winston
Beautifully illustrated, radically informative, and way more comprehensive than your high school health class ever was.
Pleasure Activism
by adrienne maree brown
Explores how pleasure is political, healing, and essential—especially for Black folks, femmes, and marginalized bodies. A mix of essays, interviews, and personal reflections rooted in social justice and erotic liberation.
She Comes First
by Ian Kerner
A practical, pleasure-positive guide for partners of people with vulvas. Yes, it's a book about oral sex, but it’s also about reverence, attunement, and slowing down.
Urban Tantra
by Barbara Carrellas
A queer-friendly, inclusive guide to sacred sexuality and ecstatic experience—playful, powerful, and grounded in the body.
The Body Is Not an Apology
by Sonya Renee Taylor
Radical self-love as a gateway to better sex and a better world. While not solely about sex, this book lays the essential foundation for dismantling shame and reconnecting with the body.
Contact
Have questions or suggestions? Send them our way. If you have any resources you 111% recommend and think they should be added here, let us know.